Mreh.

Sometimes I feel like he sees right through me.
Sometimes I know he lies to me just so I don't bitch at him.
Sometimes I feel he wants to just rip off all my fat and then he'll be happy, even though he says it doesn't care.
Sometimes I want to walk out of his house while he's asleep and find my way home and shut off all my electronics and never talk to him again.
Sometimes I'm sorry for being so mean to him all the time.
Sometimes I think he deserves it...
Sometimes I think he tries to make me angry.
Sometimes I wish he'd produce Altoids from the back of his throat while he sleeps...omg.
Sometimes I think I should feel more alive in this relationship than I feel.
Sometimes I hate the routine and the repetition of this whole damn thing.
Sometimes I hate myself for being so selfish and staying with him.
Sometimes I don't know why I do stay with him, the distance is too much for me to handle, I don't want to have to keep paying hundreds of dollars to come here, see him, and get sick of him within days.
Sometimes I want something else, someone else.

Someone help me, please.